My Dark Vanessa By: Kate Elizabeth Russell/ Book Review

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Synopsis:

Fifteen year old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in an affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year old English teacher. 2017. Amid the rising wave of allegations against powerful men, a reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice; remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been  persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager-and who professed to worship only her-may be far different from what she has always believed? Alternating between Vanessa’s present and her past, My Dark Vanessa juxtaposes memory and trauma with the breathless excitement of a teenage girl discovering the power her own body can wield. This is a masterful portrayal of troubled adolescence and its repercussions that raises vital questions about agency, consent, complicity, and victimhood.

Trigger Warnings for this book is Sexual Abuse, PTSD,  Manipulation, Rape, Gaslighting, Suicide, Sexual Assault! If your thinking about reading this book please prepare yourself it’s one of the hardest books I’ve read!!!

“I just really need it to be a love story! You Know? I really, really need it to be that. ” 

I Know she says. Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it? I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide open empathy. It’s my life, I say. This has been my whole life!” 

I’m Going To Ruing YOU!!!

This book was a hard one for me to read it deals with some many emotions! Vanessa first meets Jacob as her English teacher at a boarding school that she attends! In this book Vanessa recounts her relationship with Jacob from the age fifteen into her thirtys. This book talks alot about Lolita, which is referenced alot through the story . He made her feel special and smart. This book reminds me alot of the Stockholm Syndrome how she actually falls in love with her abuser and will protect him always. At times reading this book I really felt her emotions and the real feeling she was having. This book specks volumes at how many young girls are like Vanessa, and the men that manipulate them into thinking they are special and actually get away with it, or they make you feel like your the exception to the rule and make you feel like you both belong together because you are both so dark. Even as a adult Vanessa still continues a relationship with him because she thinks what they shared was a connection that nobody can understand, when allegations about a new student comes out about Strane she must come to the conclusion and realization but will she? I highly recommend this book even though it’s not based on a true story  it very well could be I feel, alot of people don’t realize the effect and damage it could have on the way people live their life when they get older years after the abuse and the effects it has on someone’s mental health!

I give this book a 5 star rating everything from the writing the emotions were so on point and very well written I would also recommend the audiobook the narrator does an excellent job!  

Thank you so much for visiting my blog let me know in the comments if you have read this book and your thoughts on it! I would love to discuss them with you!

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The Photographer By: Mary Dixie Carter / Book Review

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When perfect images as a photographer, Delta Dawn observes the seemingly perfect lives of New York City’s elite: snapping photos of their children’s birthday parties, transforming images of stiff hugs and tearstained faces into visions of pure joy, and creating moments these parents long for. Are made of beautiful lies! When Delta is hired for Natalie Straub’s eleventh birthday, she finds herself wishing she wasn’t behind the lens but a part of the scene-in the Straub family’s gorgeous home and elegant life. The truth will be exposed!! That’s when Delta puts her plan in place, by babysitting for Natalie; befriending her mother, Amelia; finding chances to listen to her father, Fritz. Soon she’s bathing in the master bathtub, drinking their expensive wine, and eyeing the beautifully finished garden apartment in their townhouse. It seems she can never get close enough, until she discovers that photos aren’t all she can manipulate.

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Delta is one of the best photographers she can make any picture look incredible. She first meets the Straub’s family when they hire her for their daughter’s birthday party, she’s immediately intrigued by this family and wants to know more about them, and Oh Boy she does, she begins babysitting for them, house sitting when their away! She learns that Amelia is desperate to have another baby but unfortunately she can’t bear anymore children! So what better way to get more involved with the family then to offer to become their surrogate, and she will stop at nothing to make this happen, even if that’s lying! This story is basically about a women who becomes so obsessed with a family the writing style is good the storyline is pretty good and definitely keep me intrigued to know what the outcome would be this is a psychological thriller but I didn’t get it for myself like I have with other books I’ve read I was looking for a more twist ending and felt like the ending was a little rushed and was hoping for a little bit more! I would probably gives this a 3.5 Star!

Thank you for reading my blog!!!  Let me know what other book you all would recommend I would love to read them! 

 

Hidden Bodies By: Caroline Kepnes! Pages 448 Thriller!

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The Riveting Sequel to YoU!!

Joe Goldberg is no stranger to hiding bodies. In the past ten years this thirty-something has buried four of them. Collateral damage in his quest for love. Now he’s heading west to Los Angles, the city of second chances, determined to put his past behind him. In Hollywood, Joe blends in effortlessly with the other young upstarts. He eats guac, works in a bookstore, and flirts with a journalist neighbor. But while others seem fixated on their own reflections, Joe can’t stop looking over his shoulder. The problem with hidden bodies is that they don’t always stay that way. They re-emerge, like dark thoughts, multiplying and threatening to destroy what Joe wants most: true love. And when he finds it in a darkened room in Soho House, he’s more desperate than ever to keep his secrets buried. He doesn’t want to hurt his new girlfriend-he wants to be with her forever. But if she ever finds out what he’s done, he may not have a choice…..

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First of all this book was pointless!! I think the author should of just stopped at YOU!! I did not really enjoy it, Joe was dating a girl and she did him wrong by stealing books that were worth alot of money. Of course now he needs revenge and has to kill her because she doesn’t want him anymore, he move to LA. There he meets another girl and of course he becomes obsessive with her. The characters weren’t the greatest in this book I couldn’t really connect with them they didn’t feel real to me, the story line dragged on and keep going around in circles, like I mentioned before it was pointless. Which is unfortunate because I loved You and couldn’t put it down. 

This was a 2 Star read for me!!!

This book has trigger warnings for substance abuse, alcohol abuse, stalking, and murder!

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The Dead House By: Dawn Kurtagich/ Book Review!

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                                Three Students: Dead

                Carly Johnson: vanished without a trace.

Two decades have passed since an inferno swept through Elmbridge High, claiming the lives of three teenagers and causing one student, Carly Johnson, to disappear. The main suspect: Kaitlyn “the girl of nowhere” Kaitlyn’s diary, discovered in the ruins of Elmbridge High, reveals the thoughts of a disturbed mind. It’s charred pages tell a sinister version of events that took place that tragic night, and the girl of nowhere is caught in the center of it all. But many claim Kaitlyn doesn’t exist, and in a way, she doesn’t-because she is the alter ego of Carly Johnson. Carly gets the day. Kaitlyn has the night. It’s during the night that a mystery surrounding the Dead House unravels and a dark, twisted magic ruins the lives of each student that dares touch it. 

 

This story is written in psychiatric reports, witness testimonials, video footage, and a diary of Kaitlyn! I like how the book was written out and I found it very interesting, but as I got to the half way point I started to get bored, it felt like there weren’t really giving me much to keep my interest it was the same thing over and over again I never really got the answers I wanted from the book! They talked about a younger sister who was adopted and kind of threw her in bits and never really gave her a story, it is mentioned that Kaitlyn is an alter ego, but was it more of a personality disorder? Then Carly disappears and Kaitlyn completely takes over the body! So what happened to Carly?  Even when the story picked up I still felt it was still no giving me what I wanted! The book started out very promising and I hate that I felt this way! So I’m only giving this a 2 star read for me! I know a lot of people out there loved the book, and gave it great reviews and I don’t want to offend anyone who liked the book, but it just wasn’t for me!

Five Feet Apart By: Rachael Lippincott/ Book Review!

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                         Can You love someone you can never touch?

Stella Grant likes to be in control even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. At this point, what Stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant.                                                                                Six feet apart. No Exceptions!

The only thing Will Newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. He couldn’t care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trail. Soon he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

Will’s exactly what Stella needs to stay away from. If he so much as breathes on Stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. Either one of them could die. The only way to stay alive is to stay apart. But suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. It feels like punishment. What if they could steal back just a little bit of space their broken lungs have stolen from them? Would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking?

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Stella has been in and out of the hospital since she was six years old she has become friends with the nursing staff and knows her way around. She is pretty much by the book she has her medication cart set up and organized by her bed side and also invented an app. for your phone to remind you when to take your medication. And she is on the list for the next lung transplant!                                  Will has been to many hospitals around the world, but has not seen the world only the white walls of hospitals, he is tired of trying all these new clinical drugs and is ready to just live his life for once, because he knows someone who has CF doesn’t have much time!

This book was like no other love story, you have ever read before it had me smiling,laughing,crying and angry because all you wanted was for these two people to just be able to holds hands and touch! But how bad will it actually be if they did touch, will it be the end for one of them, will Stella lose her place for a chance for new lungs and be able to live and breathe, and just be normal for a while!                                                                                                                                                CF is a short for Cystic Fibrosis which is a genetic disease that both parents have to be carries of this gene for it to be passed on to an unborn child. It causes persistent lung infections and limits to ability to breathe it cause the lungs to consume mucous! unfortunately there is no cure for this disease there are different cases for CF so every case is different! This book goes into some detail for a day-to-day life of a person who has CF and there struggles!

I give this book a solid 4 out of 5 stars, I loved the authors writing style and how see goes into details I enjoyed how she made you feel the emotions of these characters!